A Public Diary During the Coronavirus/COVID-19 Pandemic ~ Day 98

Some carrots were plucked out of the garden by my kiddo today, they tasted delicious.

We’ve slipped into summer
right along with a solar eclipse
and an uprising in full swing

Meanwhile a rally in Tulsa
for a racist n’ sexist president
was a grand flop of an occasion
as K-Pop n’ tens of thousands
of tik-tokin teens went ahead and
showed up in a clever way to help make it so

Three months in to an isolation situation
we phase slowly back into public life
I’m tentatively leaning towards pessimistic
about how coming out of our caves will go

I mean all signs point to a gnarly fall
where we see a rise in cases across the country

Alas, the sun is shining on down,
the longest day is here and gone,
we transitioned between seasons
what in the hell is next to come?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Today is Sunday, June 21st in the year 2020. It’s Father’s Day here in the US of A. To celebrate it my mother came over and brought a surprise guest along as well. My daughter, who hasn’t been here in well over a month again, maybe 6-weeks or so, unbeknownst to me showed up, too. It was an amazingly genuine surprise and it filled my heart right up. I had actually prayed for seeing her soon this very morning during yoga and meditation session. Things are not quite clear between her mother and I and we are doing our best to try and navigate what it might look like to have her once again for an extended period of time. I’ll elaborate on that another time though for the moment, the reflection I’m having is utter joy in seeing both my kiddos on this day. And of course it was a pleasure to have my mom here as well. It was a pleasant day weather wise and we enjoyed a backyard visit under these new strange circumstances nearly 100 days into this isolation situation we’re navigating blindly through.

It feels as though we’re navigating blindly through it, doesn’t it? Still, three months after shelter in place orders and a full 6 months after this novel coronavirus entered our global consciousness, nobody seems to have any clear idea of how things are going to unfold exactly. Or what safety precautions are best to follow, or if antibodies will stay in our systems if we get the virus, or for that matter, if a vaccine will work if the antibodies prove not to stay in the system for long. I realize of course the idea of vaccine is to build immunity to the virus so perhaps that will be more effective than getting COVID-19 through a contagious person? I don’t know. Not many claim to either. Except maybe that absurd man who I cannot believe really is the president of this country. He claims all sorts of shit and doesn’t seem to mind whether or not it’s true.

One thing that I did read yesterday or quite recently was the early reports and studies coming back from the first week of protests in Minneapolis and Seattle where they did COVID testing for protesters and the initial results are showing that there is not direct spike from these massive demonstrations and the uprising. The results showed that around 1% of those tested came back positive which I understand is kinda the background percentage for people in general going out in the world for groceries and coming into close contact with others in limited circumstances. So, masks seem to be working and for whatever percentage of folks aren’t wearing them, that doesn’t seem to be enough to warrant any claims that the protests are going to directly create spikes in cases. I take that as a pretty big green light to anyone out there on the fence about getting out on the streets to rise up. Get on out there!

For real though, I’m still thinking of my daughter being here today and how awesome that was. I miss her presence and look forward to having more of it in my life if possible soon. Texts, video chats, and all that just don’t quite provide the same goodness that an in person visit can bring. If we were in different states, or countries, like what is still a possibility for the winter if I and we go to Schumacher College in South Devon, England, then I’ll be happy with any and all texts and video chats that I can get. I would love to regularly write to her as well if this does indeed happen. And I really hope that we can sort out a way for her to spend more time with us. We’re going through this period where we want to make sure everyone is safe and doesn’t have the virus, which isn’t different than any other time of course, but if we are to drive down to LA to help out the parents-in-law and she were to come with, we’re asking that she get tested before joining us on the road. Or even if she were to come here for an extended stay. We’re looking to potentially connect with two other families soon for a childcare and schooling type scenario in our back house and everyone wants to try and exercise the best precautions possible. That seems a simple enough and reasonable thing to do.

But life isn’t always simple and being reasonable isn’t always that easy for all. So we’re going through a bit of a thing with this and that just is what it is. We will figure out a way forward one way or another. Que sera sera. This is one of those parts of sharing the roles of care and responsibility for a kid while being divorced and/or apart can be a bit tricky. From what I can ascertain, the biggest difficulty is having a good line of communication and we just don’t have that right now. I take responsibility for my part in it, will continue to find ways to be better at it, and hope that can be the case on all sides. I don’t care to get judgmental or in any way unkind at the moment, I say this because I can only do so much to try and find a health common ground with someone who is shutting down what little fickle clear lines of communication we have at the moment. I am an optimist in many ways and believe this can change though history would reason with me to not hold my breath about it.

All I can do in regards to my daughter is continue to be in her life as much as possible and in any ways I can. That is the goal. Quality over quantity must be the way. That is a general good way to navigate through this life, valuing quality over quantity, isn’t it?

And isn’t it just a plain undeniable truth that we go through this life with ups and downs, highs and lows, pain, suffering, and euphoria, and gratitude for all that is good. I’ve dabbled in denying the unpleasant parts of my reality and I’d rather not do that anymore. Life is richer and more damn real when we acknowledge the good and the bad. Shit gets difficult on occasion and that’s okay.

I also wish to note that we just watched Just Mercy tonight and I shed tears for the outrageous atrocity that this movie represents in the lived lives of those in the film and also for the horrific systemic oppression, racism, and pure ugliness that has been on display from police and our court systems in parts of (and throughout) this country. We need to rebuild this all from the ground up. Punitive systems with “correctional facilities” is bullshit and a violent display of human injustice and hatred. Nobody should be locked up in solitary confinement. Prisons are awful. And there are so many better ways to create a peaceful and just society than locking people up, especially when those very systems are based on biases towards people of color in the first place. We have so much work to do.

I’m calling it a night here though the theme of this all will continue in my writings and reflections within these daily posts and throughout the course of my life as well. No justice, no peace is real and nobody can claim that we’ve ever achieved true peace for there has never been a time where there has been true justice. Maybe it does all have to get burned to the ground so that we may rise up from the ashes and start with a fresh story…

Writer, podcaster, international public speaker, Theater of the Oppressed actor, and lover of this precious intrinsically connected world we are all a part of.