A Public Diary During the Coronavirus/COVID-19 Pandemic ~ Day 63
This space
is now filled
where it was
not before
Attach whatever
meaning you’d like
to that notion
And what space
is it that is being filled?
ones and zeros
on a screen, or many?
Will this space that is
filling with these words
ever find its way onto
the surface of the pulp
of a tree that we call paper?
Doesn’t matter
Matter is relative,
meaningless,
meaningful,
everything,
nothing,
absolute,
infinite,
nonsense
Or, you know,
something like that
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Today was pretty damn close to being the day no words made it out of my brain and would have became the end of this daily pandemic dairy streak. Alas, it’s not. Cause here I am writing these here words. I have a bit of a headache, connected to what is this reoccurring bout of allergies that I’ve been dealing with for what seems like forever. These past few days have not entirely sucked by any means but every so often, at certain points, the sinuses push on my noggin, my eyes get all dry, red, n’ itchy and I feel kinda shitty. Those are all of what is going on presently.
I understand there is a whole lot of that pollen swirling around in the air lately and even though I know it is better to avoid being outside much during that time, I couldn’t resist the sweet bike ride we did today, or working in the yard and in general, connecting with this glorious natural world whenever I could. And it is super hard to resist sticking my face all up close to all the flowers in bloom, with the buzzing bees about doing that sensual dance they do. So I suppose this is the price I pay for that. Maybe?
I did take an allergy pill today, and maybe yesterday but I don’t remember if I actually did take one yesterday or not. I think I maybe just tried to will the unpleasant symptoms away maybe? No, that’s not true, I must have taken one at some point. Anyways, I’m not here to fucking complain, just reflecting on this vessel and it’s many parts that have experienced less than desirable sensations as of late. Beyond these though, for the most part, I do feel great. More or less. There’s just so much to be grateful for, even in the midst of the chaos and all the unknown.
I do have to admit I was completely prepared to go lay down my head in bed without logging in to put down some words today. The idea of it, even as I had accepted it, apparently rubbed me the wrong way to a point where I somehow found the gusto, or gumption if you will, to essentially snap out of the state of pre-sleep I was in on the couch, and open up the computer to spew out this nonsense. I cannot guarantee any of what is written here will be worth a lick of reading. I won’t make any apologies either, though I do thank you for coming along this far to see what may come next. Likely more nonsense but you never know…
Today’s bike ride was a milestone for our kid, that is something special I’m pleased to share. He rode on his own bike on what was probably a 3 mile loop. We did have a nice break in the middle to check out the A to Zoo exhibit, which was actually the impetus for todays outing. This talented artist in our neighborhood had decided to debut a different animal each day and display it in his yard, each of course connected to a different letter of the alphabet. It has become something of an attraction and thus it comes with the awkward social distancing situation and a whole bunch of kiddos in masks and parents doing their best to figure out how to navigate this new attraction. That was strange to deal with. We haven’t had much time out in public settings with other kids around in relatively close quarters like that. In fact, I don’t think we’ve ever really had to deal with something like this in the 8 weeks of this pandemic. What a trip.
It was actually the second time in two days that we had our kid out in public with his mask on, the first was bizarre and became a truly frustrating scenario. We had driven up to a hospital where we were under the impression we could get testing for COVID without symptoms or a doctors note, that turned out not to be the case. We learned after we got there that we had to get our temperatures taken, go into a doc visit where they would determine whether or not we could get the test then, if it seemed like we may have it. That was the only way. We had decided to do this because my parent’s in law are coming up to stay with us for an indefinite period of time and as they are in that more compromised group of people who we don’t want getting this virus, we figured it would be good to get tested right before they got here. But even though 8 weeks have passed since this all began, we still don’t even have the ability to get a test unless we get a doctors note or are exhibiting concerning symptoms.
So, what ended up happening is we basically went into the front entry way of this clinic, had a surly woman take our temperature and heart rates, give us a slip of paper and told us to go out to the car and call the number on the paper, which then had us connect with a nursing assistant who took further information from us, and then said they’d call us back when we could go in to see if maybe we could get tested. I quickly decided this system sucked and was not worth it. Besides the fact that no one in our family actually thinks we have it right now, we didn’t want to go into a place where people do in fact get tested positive only to be told we didn’t qualify to get tested in the first place. So, after sitting in the car for a bit, deciding I was absolutely not going to try and lie and convince the doctors I had enough symptoms to have them test us, we got the hell out of there. Now we’re going to explore other ways to see if we can maybe get tested here in the next few days. You know, just to exercise some precautions.
Our systems are so out of whack. This country is going to be looked back on as a gigantic failure with egregious inequality and will empires like Rome pale in comparison to the rise and fall of this fucking mess. And that is where we’re at. On a slow train to total breakdown it would seem, not before tyranny and the most ugly displays of greed and corruption can play out first though. Through it all there may end up being some great stories and examples of collaborative leadership, solidarity, vulnerability, humility, and resilience on both individual and community levels that will be the sparkling diamonds amidst the dark, dirty, coal of it all.
