A Public Diary During the Coronavirus/COVID-19 Pandemic ~ Day 53

Peonies are a bloomin’ in our yard. An annual spring delight.

Wind chimes dance
the Doug firs sway
my boy plays alone
on this sunny day

Sitting in isolation
the sun beckons us
pulling on our strings
that yearn for the outdoors

Soon it will be summer
one unlike any before
at least in many generations

How will we cope
and not give up hope
I simply do not know

If we give up though
no good outcomes
even have a chance

So let us dance
to this dark and unknown
song and allow ourselves
to bring forth the light

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Here I am and here we are, Thursday, May 7th, the year 2020. As far as I can tell, the mysteries of this life and discerning what the fuck is going on seem to be moving into a previously unknown gear and the task at hand, of critical thinking, of understanding, of making sense of it all, is nearly impossible. And that is where I find myself.

On the physical plane, as in weather wise where my body can experience reality, things are pretty glorious. The day has had a steady breeze that has accompanied a delightful 70 or so degrees. Tomorrow the forecast is for things to kick up a notch and jump into the low/mid 80’s. That’s downright hot for early May. It seems we’ll have a couple toasty days and then there’s rain ahead for as far as the forecasters eyes can see. That’s spring in the Pacific Northwest I guess.

On the mental plane, things are in a paradoxical state, at one moment clarity is found, in the next, complete confusion. This is taxing psychologically as well. Who among us is navigating this bizarre new world with their shit together. No one is the answer. The real and perceived fear and trauma that courses through us is at time subtle and at others palpable to a point of debilitating. My main goal each day is to find my way through it without falling apart. That is not to say I teeter on the edge of some precipice, holding myself together necessarily, or maybe that is exactly what is going on.

On the spiritual plane, in spite of the undulating clarity and confusion in my brain, I am thankful to find that I have a calmness and sense of peace vibrating through me fairly regularly. The daily yoga practice has allowed me to be both sore during this time and yet tuned in (and up) in a way that is oh so helpful. We’ve been going real deep with this practice and I simply cannot imagine where I’d be without this happening regularly.

On the logoic plane, well, when there there’s not much to say. That’s when the isness is the business of the eternal now and oneness is found. It’s a groovy place to link up with on occasion. That realm of it all comes randomly and unexpectedly but if you know what I’m talking about, you take what you can get from this trip.

I wonder about where everyone is getting their information from during this all. It’s hard to say what social networks and newsfeeds are regularly being tuned into and what amount of verifiable, integrity driven reporting on this world is actually being accessed by the average bear. These days, the trust in most media from the mainstream is tough to swallow, not to mention if you do, you’re bringing into your being heavy doses of fear for the most part. Ain’t that a bitch? Is that expression acceptable at this point? Will that be flagged by the PC police? Probably. At this point in the game, you can’t say shit without somebody being offended. Tough to be a comedian these days that’s for sure. But comedians are so good at providing laughter, at any time, but especially I feel during these challenging, confusing, and often unsettling times.

In other local news, as in, local to this household and it’s goings on, I took a deep dive into cleaning out our car, vacuuming the shit out of it, wiping all the surfaces, getting it all sorta new like. That felt good. It was long overdue, and although the car hasn’t been driven in ages more than a couple times around town here for errands and work, it was a task that was rewarding and the next time we do get in there, for whatever reason, it will feel so nice to ride in a clean car. Remember road trips? Sunday drives? A dope cruise with your pals? Not that I’ve done that in years and years and years, but what is it going to look like to get in a car with friends or in the ride share world down the road here? Will it be years before we’re comfortable doing these things again? What would or will the world look like in a year or two if we can no longer connect in the physical realm?

You know what, I’m spent. I’m emotionally drained. I have plenty to be grateful for and even optimism for the future, in some ways. But right now, I’ve hit a wall and I need to stop writing. As much as the sun is something that can energize, it can also drain pretty effectively, too. I think I may be experiencing a bit of that right now. And so, I will wrap this post up and leave it as one of the shorter ones I’ve done. That’s fine with me. I keep the streak alive, whatever significance that has anyways…

Alrighty, peace, love, and grace to all, and to all a good night.